Praying the Truth

Praying the Truth: Deepening Your Friendship with God Through Honest Prayer

By William A. Barry, S.J.

Loyola Press, 2012

"O Lord, you have searched me and known me.

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from far away.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

O Lord, you know it completely.

Your eyes saw all my actions,

they were all of them written in your book;

Every one of my days was decreed

before one of them came into being." (Psalm 139:1,4,16)

These verses from Psalm 139 - considered by some to be among the most beautiful and incisive psalms in the entire Psalter - remind us of the powerful truth that God knows us inside and out, totally and completely. He who dwells in eternity has known every thought we will ever think, every word we will ever speak, and every deed we will ever do before we think, say or do any of them. In short, God knows everything about us - our strengths and our weaknesses, our virtues and our vices. Even at our lowest and most sinful moments, we can take heart in knowing that God saw us at our worst, and still chose to love us and bring us into being. Aware of this knowledge, how can we be anything but honest when we draw near to God in prayer? After all, there is no point in trying to conceal anything from the God who, in the words of Psalm 139, has thoroughly searched us and known us.

Such is the reasoning behind Praying the Truth: Deepening Your Friendship with God through Honest Prayer. In this book, written by noted Jesuit author and spiritual director Fr. William Barry, readers are encouraged to develop a relationship with God in which we hold nothing back and in which we strive to be completely transparent with the Lord who already knows us through and through. Barry contends that just as "we grow in friendship with another human being by becoming more and more transparent with each other" (p.2), so we have to be completely truthful and transparent with God in order to grow in authentic friendship with him. In return, we must allow God to be completely truthful with us, to open ourselves to genuinely receiving what God has to say to us about himself and ourselves.

After three introductory chapters in which Fr. Barry addresses the notion of prayer as relationship and friendship and in which he articulates the idea that keeping secrets is poisonous to any genuine relationship, the author goes on to offer insights as to how we can be more open with God about particularly difficult areas of our lives, from our sinfulness, anger and pettiness to our sexuality and our fears. He also broaches a topic that many devout folks have particular difficulty dealing with, namely expressing anger and disagreement at God himself. Fr. Barry writes in an engaging and easily accessible style that will appeal to both neophytes in the spiritual life as well as more advanced pray-ers.

Praying the Truth is an excellent resource for deepening one's relationship with God. As we prepare to enter once again into the season of Lent, perhaps this is a particularly appropriate time to pick up this fine little book and to face the challenge of drawing closer to the Lord in a more open, honest, and genuine manner.

The Wall Street Journal, "Feel-good gossip" - Really?

WSJ, "Feel-Good Gossip," Jan 21, 2012

by C.H. Pak

I was reading The Wall Street Journal today with my morning breakfast and coffee, and came across a story about "positive, pro-social aspects of gossip," by Christopher Shea.  The study that he showcased demonstrated that "gossip can relieve anxiety caused by watching others behave badly."

Before I go any further into my thoughts on the study let me put a couple of definitions on the table. First - gossip is defined in the Free Merriam-Webster dictionary as either: a) a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others; or b) rumor or report of an intimate nature. Gossip, possessing a habitual aspect, stems from a profound lack of humility. It is an offshoot of pride, also known in Christian circles as a deadly sin. Fraternal correction, on the other hand, is named as one of the fruits of charity in the Catholic Catechism (#1829). It is defined in the Catholic Encyclopedia as "the admonishing of one's neighbor by a private individual with the purpose of reforming him, or if possible, preventing his sinful indulgence."

Now, let's return to this little piece in the WSJ. According to the experiment, more than 200 participants watched "cooperation" games involving small amounts of cash. Participants watched these staged games where "one player pursued a relentlessly self-interested strategy over one or more rounds." Watching this apparently caused a certain amount of distress for participants, whose heart rates correspondingly rose. The distress "was eased when participants got the chance to send a note to the subsequent player, warning of the bad actor." There is no indication in this piece that the participants were given the option to confront the offending player directly, only that they were given the chance to warn another player about apparently immoral behavior that was going on. The study's researchers (Matthew Feinberg, Robb Willer, Jennifer Stellar and Dacher Keltner) defined this as a "positive, prosocial aspect of gossip." What actually happened here were instances of redirected fraternal correction, not habitual manifestations of gossip.The participant was motivated to "protect an innocent player from harm," not spread rumors.

I had two problems with what I saw here. The first is that a study dressed with such marketing spin actually made it into a scholarly journal, which is scheduled to appear in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology as "The Virtues of Gossip: Reputational Information Sharing as Prosocial Behavior."  The second is that the popular, eye-catching titles in both the study ("The Virtues of Gossip") and the WSJ article ("Feel-good gossip") can perpetuate confusion among readers about the difference between good and poor behavior. The participants in the study were clearly exhibiting a good reaction (distress) to bad behavior (relentlessly self-interested strategy), yet they were manipulated by the researchers to find a way to correct the problem after being constrained in their options. The choice to warn another player of the offender was defined as "gossip," which relabeled a virtuously motivated act in a way that would potentially make the non-virtuous behavior (the actual form of gossip) seem more permissible.

The lesson in all this - scrutinize fast food media (and in some cases, fast-food research) like you would fast food - read the ingredients, look at the nutrition info, and consume at your own risk.

The Eremitic Life

The Eremitic Life
  by Fr. Cornelius Wencel, Er. Cam. (Ercam Editions, 2007)

"The mere choice of solitude is an experience of kenosis and death. The hermit, with his childlike heart, approaches death fearlessly. He accepts it with quiet understanding and patience. He does not try to avoid death, to run away from it, or to forget the inevitable necessity of dying...the hermit is perfectly aware that after each inhalation there comes an exhalation, after a sunrise a sunset, after a blossoming a withering. As a person touching death at every moment of his life, he accepts the necessity of ending his earthly pilgrimage in peace and serenity because he remembers that his death has been transformed by the power of the Resurrection." ~ The Desert: Solitude (36)

Though most of us are not called to the eremitic (hermit) life, the reflections of a good and holy hermit are like distillations from contemplation. They are potent, best taken in small doses, yet quite relevant  to us all as Christians, who would benefit from taking at least some regular time during our lives in silence, solitude, and prayer. Without a rhythm of silence and solitude, our prayer life can often be filled with the noise of distraction and anxiety, preventing us from hearing the whispers of the Lord in our hearts.

Fr. Wencel is a Camaldolese hermit  living near Cracow, Poland. The Camaldolese tradition is semi-eremitical, with a balance between solitary (eremitic) and community (cenobitic) life. Each monk lives in a cell (little house with a small garden) separate from the others, habitually taking meals alone. Much of his day is spent alone. The community life is reflected in their Rule, Mass and Liturgy of Hours, all experienced/celebrated in common. More can be found on their website.

Returning to the book, The Eremitic Life is full of intense reflections on experiencing "the desert" of solitude,  with sections describing the foundations of the eremitic experience, their practice, their service to the world, and their relationship with God. Fr. Wencel offers some beautiful insights into the solitary prayer experience that touches on that horizon between life, death and eternity ~ something we may catch a glimpse of in a beautiful sunset or the brilliance of Autumn but don't always know how to articulate. 

I recommend this book for anyone who seeks to explore or better understand the value of time alone with God in daily life, from a hermit's perspective.  

C. Pak, Founder

AC USA