Here's My Heart, Here's My Hand

Here's My Heart, Here's My Hand
by William A. Barry, SJ
(Loyola Press, 2009)

"God's love is not utilitarian...God does not love me or anyone else primarily to achieve some other goals...God desires us into existence, and thus we become desirable and lovely to God. Moreover, God wants us to discover the divine loveliness and let ourselves be attracted to it. But this can only happen if we ourselves believe and experience that we are the apple of God's eye - to the extent that we believe and experience that God finds us desirable, to that extent we will be in love with God." ~ Fr. Bill Barry, SJ


I took this book with me on retreat over the past weekend as I discerned with God my next steps in life. A common trap I fall into when in conversation with the Lord is this notion that God will love me more if I correctly fulfill my destiny. What Fr. Barry reminded me of throughout the book (and over the years in spiritual direction) is that God loved us into existence, desired us. God desires our companionship, our friendship, our love. We are called ultimately to love God and one another, in our unique and gifted ways. To think that God expects me to get it right in order to be loved falls squarely into the category of believing that God's love is somehow utilitarian - which Fr. Barry emphatically says is not the case.

In many ways our "default" self-God image (conditioned patterns of interpersonal relations) can crowd out the true person of God in our daily lives, particularly in prayer. The Lord patiently walks with me in my own friendship with Him, even with the masks I often put on him (father, mother, priest, other) ~ and slowly, together, as we peel off each of my default self-God images, I discover the unspeakable beauty that is God's love for me. As we continue to grow in friendship and love, I know that it is impossible for me to do everything exactly right; and I know that I am deeply loved even when I stumble and fall. The important thing for me is to get up and keep walking.

Fr. Barry's book speaks to the idea of living "fully in friendship with God". It is organized in five parts, all of which are succinctly written and illustrated with relevant cases and anecdotes. The first part deals with prayer (why we do it, how God communicates with us, and how we can identify God's voice in response).  The next two parts deal with discernment, decision making, and real-world cases. The fourth part reflects on God and God's desire for us. The final part discusses the impact of our friendship with God on us, and offers suggestions for further development. I found this work to be extremely helpful in reminding me of the many lessons I learned in spiritual direction about God, my own interpersonal tendencies, and the call to grow in friendship and love with God and others.

Anyone can read this book and take many nuggets away for further contemplation. It's an excellent work and highly recommended.

C. Pak, Founder
Amicizia Cristiana USA